When i'm on smack i've got no conscience, no guilt. Now i feel guilty for everything, things i'm not sure i've even done. I want to live and feel things again without it but whats the point if all there is is drivel and nonsense.
Maybe it'll be a different story in a few months down the line but i'm not so sure...things weren't exactly sunshine before it. At least my head gets that peace I crave when i use.
Peace, I think thats whats it's about or wondering if it's attainable in this life...maybe not.
All I seem to do is say sorry, apologise for even being. Seeing this shity world through such sensitively clear eyes doesn't exactly help.
Even my words have this whining, disgusting self loathing quality that makes even me feel sick!
Maybe it'll be a different story in a few months down the line but i'm not so sure...things weren't exactly sunshine before it. At least my head gets that peace I crave when i use.
Peace, I think thats whats it's about or wondering if it's attainable in this life...maybe not.
All I seem to do is say sorry, apologise for even being. Seeing this shity world through such sensitively clear eyes doesn't exactly help.
Even my words have this whining, disgusting self loathing quality that makes even me feel sick!
